Raya's Camo

Mom bought Raya a Camo sleeper to match Daddy's

Frist Christmas!

Raya is 4 months old on Dec 26th. I cried when I realized she was already 4 months and had her first Christmas! Phil told me that she is supposed to grow, lol. I guess he is right. We really enjoyed being with our family. It was hard to say goodbye but it was nice to get home too. The drive is really long! I love all of our family and our time was priceless!

Is the spoon rest worth it?

I was cleaning up my kitchen these last couple of times and I got to thinking...what is the purpose of the spoon rest on the stove? I have to wash it when I am done with it and if I am careful enough I do not have to wipe down the stove top. However, if I do not use the spoon rest I have to wipe down the stove top. Do you see where I am going? Either way I will have the same amount or more of cleaning. I am not completely decided, but I do think that I might be getting rid of my spoon rest.~Steph

Stuller's update

Well there has been a lot going on since our last blog. We are now in Lexington, KY enjoying our new surroundings as best as we can being away from friends and family, along with everything else that we know. It definitely helps that this is God's direction for our life, and that the weather down here has been absolutely gorgeous. We hope to continue, especially on a more frequent basis. For now here are some photos and a video so you can see how quickly our daughter is growing.

Change of Pace

I(Phil) have been having a tough past couple of weeks at the distribution center, for more then just one reason unfortunately. I have begun to learn that the leadership at Dollar General is not necessarily leadership...it is more of control through lies and half truths which in turn would inherently be a lie. It is an interesting thought to think about as I drive home every day and wonder what they think leadership should look like. If I followed their design of leadership and spoke to them as they do me or others I would be fired then and there. If I lied to get my way so that more work could get done at other people's cost, I would be fired then and there. So almost everyday I come to the thought of what true leadership looks like and how it should be implemented.

All of this comes to the forefront of my mind as I drive out through the gate and happily tell me wife I'm coming home, but the deep dark reason that it does is because I don't like to lied to, especially by another adult. For example two weeks ago I volunteered, now I know not to, to go help out another department who had people on vacation. As I volunteered I was told that it would be for one day, I'm okay with that, rather as I got done that day they informed me that I would reporting there for the next two weeks because I am going to be cross trained. After a quick discussion with that supervisor which revealed their initial lie just to get help, I was still required to do what they ask. So it baffles me that as I look at the "leadership" of this warehouse it makes me wonder how they see what they do as leadership, let alone helpful.

I am sorry that this blog has turned in to a drag and likely isn't as informative in to our life right now, but I just really wish that people would be honorable and "let their yes mean yes, and no mean no." Pray that I keep a strong Christian witness during this time of my life when it is appearing to be hardest. Thanks.

My "ME" time

I feel like I have something profound to say but it is not coming out. I have been doing a lot of thinking (which is a big deal for me, Steph) Anyway, tonight was my first time away from the house without Raya and Phil, so I was alone. It was nice. I forgot how much I like/need to have my "me" time. I love my mom time too, but there is something about clearing your head with just a simple grocery list and a shopping cart. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I can tackle another week of taking care of Raya and Phil and maybe do some extra stuff, like cook or something. When I shop like that my mind races with all the things I want to do: things like make chicken salad, send out thank you cards, send out thinking of you cards, call my Grandma, do a scrap book for Raya and join a women's Bible study. So here I am, my mind still racing and my two Dear Loves in bed sleeping.

I just want to say I am really thankful that I know Raya was in good hands with her dad. Phil does a great job with her and I did not worry about her at all, in fact I hardly thought about them while I was gone, except to find certain items for them. It may sound terrible to say that but hey, like I said before I need my "me" time.

I'm Tired

Well today is the 14th day that I(Phil)have worked @ Dollar General as a general warehouse employee. Honestly it is hard, for many reasons, obviously because I was no longer used to a manual labor job, and they regularly require us to show up at 5am for work and then not get out until 4pm. Needless to say it is a brutal schedule and then wanting to help out the most I can with everything and Raya when I get home, but I have to get to bed by 8-9 if I want to even be able to function w/o having a whole pot of coffee in the morning, which wouldn't be conducive to the quota we are required to attain. I am tired from this schedule.

I mainly wanted to blog today about how different life is now, not necessarily with Raya at home and all because that is a given, rather the difference my personal walk with Jesus is right now. Working in an environment other than a church makes me remember even more how important my time with God is and the prayers that I am constantly saying at work. Life is different now because almost more importantly now than ever before is my personal character and life with God important because people at work are starting to realize that I don't cuss or end every sentence in F*#&, or talk about women in certain despicable ways that degrades the captivating beauty with which they were created. I find this great and while it is a lot of pressure it is also encouraging, because it not only means that God is evident in my life but there is a very specific person(s) that I am there at Dollar General.

Now I realize that if I blog and don't post a picture of Raya I will be in trouble with many people so I will give you a fun picture to look over.

My first post

Well we are parents now as you well know. I have been experiencing some new emotions that I never thought I would...those of a mother. I am a mom now. It has never been real to me until now. I gave birth to this baby and I realized that she is my daughter! I am her mother and with that comes all sorts of emotion like pure joy, insecurity in making decisions, overwhelming sense of protection and attachment, boutiful . One thing I will never forget is the when I first realized I was the only one who could calm her from crying. I was wheeled up to the nursery window after having the C-Section, mostly out of it from the drugs, and the nurse through this little bundle into my arms. Our eyes met and we just knew who we were to each other. Family said she had been crying up until this moment. It was the first she settled down. It was a moment I will never forget.