Friday, November 18, 2005
My Precious
So here is my ring the ring I recently got yelled at about sneaking off with to show my friends, and in particular one friend I haven't seen in about 3 months, enough with that here ya go.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Lost (not the show)
Sorry I haven't posted forever, for those of you who care.
Lately I have felt lost, not just in school work or work at Tree of Life. This is a deeper thing right now that I can't really explain. A feeling that as I am going through each day that I am missing something about that day, or about how my life was supposed to go that day. My soul is tired from this, I don't understand what this is or what to do with it. It goes deeper than my relationship with Stephanie and other people, even deeper than how I spend my time. Through the past two week all of these things have changed and the ones that are worthless in the future have lost priority in my schedule. Yet, my life still feels Lost. I am ready for the continuation of my life the future wedding that is to take place in 32 days, and the graduation that will be following that. I don't want to be here anymore I want to be with Christ in Glory and be able to ask what ever I want of Him and at the same time not have to worry about whether i can ask that or not. I feel Lost in the midst of the church, a church of fellow believers that seem so wise and knowledgable of things that I could only wish to have a speck of that knowledge. Does all of our motions really matter? My life is lost in my education with the onslaught of knowledge and information about life and history mixed with Theology, it can only lead to a decrease in Faith/Hope, all because with that little stupid degree that I will get in five months I will have been taught to use theology to answer questions or to use the history of the church to explain God. I don't like this and this is where I am Lost, in the midst of skeptics and cynics trying to keep their Faith in Christ.
Lately I have felt lost, not just in school work or work at Tree of Life. This is a deeper thing right now that I can't really explain. A feeling that as I am going through each day that I am missing something about that day, or about how my life was supposed to go that day. My soul is tired from this, I don't understand what this is or what to do with it. It goes deeper than my relationship with Stephanie and other people, even deeper than how I spend my time. Through the past two week all of these things have changed and the ones that are worthless in the future have lost priority in my schedule. Yet, my life still feels Lost. I am ready for the continuation of my life the future wedding that is to take place in 32 days, and the graduation that will be following that. I don't want to be here anymore I want to be with Christ in Glory and be able to ask what ever I want of Him and at the same time not have to worry about whether i can ask that or not. I feel Lost in the midst of the church, a church of fellow believers that seem so wise and knowledgable of things that I could only wish to have a speck of that knowledge. Does all of our motions really matter? My life is lost in my education with the onslaught of knowledge and information about life and history mixed with Theology, it can only lead to a decrease in Faith/Hope, all because with that little stupid degree that I will get in five months I will have been taught to use theology to answer questions or to use the history of the church to explain God. I don't like this and this is where I am Lost, in the midst of skeptics and cynics trying to keep their Faith in Christ.
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