Lose your life

A struggle that has been on going ever since I have meet and realized I was to marry Steph, is my intense sense of defending her. I am called to missions, and not just ordinary missions. In the time that I was called within the next few days of prayer searching for where I am headed, I had an overwhelming sense that I will die on the mission field. That is great, for me I would rather die for Christ and spread his name through my blood than constantly fighting and possibly pushing people away by my words. The problem is I am to be married and she will be on the field with me. If at any time while we are in the field and someone attacks her or my future children, I would at this time in my life utterly destroy that person(s).
Is that right or Christlike? Would Christ have fought off, physically, a person that attacked his mother or friends? If I do defend my family am I slowing the work of the Lord, and am I going against the Love that I will be preaching/teaching?
I deal with that thought every day and I am now giving that up to Christ to take from me. I share this with more than a few people for the first time and am doing so to be honest and to keep Christ's work in my life and on my mind.